Aba! Valentine's Day 2009 na pala sa Sabado! Hehe.
Yep, the most commercialized day of the year is almost here. Ain't that grand? Romantic gestures, sexual undertones, chocolates, roses, wine, candlelit dinners, dates, kisses and everything that speaks of LOVE. There's even a so-called Black Valentine, which I've been an avid believer for almost three years. Not because of being loveless for quite some time but simply because the color black has such a very mysterious yet formal appeal to me.
But for this year, I may still wear black on the 14th. With a hint of print here and there, just not solid black anymore. I may not have a romantic date lined up on that day since we've decided to go out on feb 15 instead. In his words, "Dai kita maluwas sa valentine ta baduyon yan!". I just had to laugh at how he said those words. I had to agree with him, with a cringe too. Tables will be reserved, rooms will be fully booked, rates will be skyhigh, flowers will be impossibly unaffordable. You get the idea, right? And there's nothing wrong with a post-Valentine date, or a pre-Valentine date for that matter. Even a Valentine date, if that's your thing. What's important is: you both love each other unconditionally, everyday and every night. Whatever happens.
Here's my take on UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. For almost three months, I've been like a fish out-of-water. Altho I wasn't really sure where my feelings would lead me to, I gave it my best shot. Lambing, suyo, oras, papansin, may gifts pa! Much time, much patience, much love, much respect for him. Even when he was treating me with a not-too loveydovey friend muna tayo kind of affection (darn!), I still held on. I had to endure sleepless nights, cried some, lived on bits of his attention. All through it all, I continued my prayers.
Last Tuesday before I signed off from work, I sent him my goodbyes. It was such an empowering feeling to be able to tell him how much hurt he's caused me. Sad though with the idea that we never had the chance to really talk things over and maybe, give our relationship another chance. Had to move on, so I shrugged my shoulders and went out into the biting cold.
The next day, he came by. Deadma. Silence again. He stood too close for comfort. He smelled soooo gooood! I was only too aware of how he smelled - an irresistible blend of clean male scent, freshly-showered, and the cologne I gave him for Christmas! Aw gawd! Haha, I really controlled myself from grabbing his hand! When he left, I sat down and placed both of my hands on my forehead (aww sh_t talaga!, hehe). Then the silly grin never left my face for about 20 minutes.
Fasttrack to Friday, Feb. 6 - I was looking forward to making a vodka infusion with ripe pineapples for jammin' time with 2 friends over the weekend. As I was spacing out infront of the TV, I heard my mobile phone beep. Glancing over my inbox, there were two messages from him. What does he have to say this time? Two messages asking where I was, if I'm angry AND if I'm still angry. I called him, told him that I'm not angry, can never be angry at him.
"How are you?", he said.
"I have highblood because you took me for granted", I replied.
"You've been quarrelling me that's why", him.
"Really? And when was that?" I followed that up with "So, are we ok now?"
"Yes!", he affirmed.
"Promise?", I asked.
"Promise!", he confirmed.
But that was not enough for me...
"You could at least talk to me in person right now. Are you going to fetch me or we'll just meet somewhere?", I prodded.
"I will fetch you there. I'm going to your house right now," was his answer.
"Ok, make it around 8pm. I will just wash my face".
"I'll go there now", he insisted.
I freshened up, took my time eventhough he was already outside waiting for me.
He drove along the highway and started talking...
"When I read your messages I thought that you're really angry at me. You were saying goodbye! I got drunk last Tuesday night because I don't want you to say goodbye to me".
"And how do you think I felt when I heard that you're getting married next year?", I inquired.
"Who told you that? It's just talk".
"If you think you're the only one who have sources, I have my sources too."
"Who do you think I'm getting married to next year?"
"That's up to you", I retorted.
We never really had any heated argument. Instead, it turned out to be a fun and pleasant open forum. He never got passed his one and only excuse: I was quarreling him because he never responded when I asked: when did that happen. Finally, we were really able to talk about how things should go between us.
"You know, our 6th months is coming up soon," I reminded him.
"Yes, on Monday", he said.
"So, what's your plan? Are we going to start all over again, back at 1?".
"No, let's continue on to our 6th month. Let's forget all about the sad things that took place", his answer.
"You're going to make me cry again".
"Again?" He hugged me.
"Can I hear it?", I whispered while I listened to his heartbeat.
"I love you".
"I love you too. Can I kiss you now?".
His lips are always so kissably soft.
He had to smile when I told him that.
He took me home early. As we cruised along the busy highway, he started to sing. I was doing backup vocals. We sang together for the first time. He was really singing out loud, even way louder than the beeping horns of passing cars.
Another answered prayer. It was a happy night, for both of us.
Labels: Love Is Never Zero