There's This Chapter In My Life...

It's about my dad and his problem with alcohol.
When he is sober, he can be a very nice dad, so full of dreams (even if they may sometime sound out-of-this-world and outright impossible).
For as long as I can remember, he's been an alcoholic. He was diagnosed with a very bad prostate cancer, his dorsalis pedis can't be palpated anymore, he really lost a lot of weight but still won't stop drinking alcohol or stop smoking. He was unable to hold on to his jobs. With his alcoholism, deterioration of his character followed next.
When he's drunk, the usual scene at our house would be him shouting on the top of his lungs, him saying really bad words to my mom, and him breaking the window, the chairs and even banging the door.
On Jan. 22 at around 4am, dad was taken by the police to spend 12 hours there because of alarm and scandal and malicious mischief. But before he was taken in by the authorities, he so was drunk and shouting and banging the door and the windows of our house at three in the morning. The police came and made him ride the car. Even if he was already inside the car, dad tried to run away but his plan to escape did not push through. He was again taken in, inspite of his shouts.
Tonight, when his 12-hour stay inside the police station, dad was taken to a private rehabilitation center in mandaluyong city (manila) for a one month rehab. Hopefully, he will be rehabilitated. But after a month, what will happen next? Either he remain sober or either he may return to his drunken ways.

The Unforgettable Men In My Life (Part 1)

In the course of my life as a 32-year-old woman, I've encountered some men who are indeed note-worthy.
Before you jump into conclusions and think otherwise, the men in my life are the friendly type, friends from my growing up years, soul brothers and men who've made an impact in my life.
Ryan and Roel are batchmates from caregiver's training in Manila. Both are of different ages but both are now in Canada working hard to make it there. When I think about the six months I've spent with them learning the how-to's of nursing procedures, etc., I can't help but smile.
My long-time-friend-since-high-school Ipoi. He's aka Big Angelo. We've been through a lot since third year high school and up to now, I know I can always count on this friend of mine to be always there for me, whether for online chats, Dreamweaver tutorials, eating mcflurry at McDonalds, talking about life and everything under the sun.
Then there's Leo of Australia. The ever-busy enterpreneur from the Land Down Under. At the moment, he's really busy building his home near the Indian Ocean.
Another man worth mentioning about is Von. He is one dynamo who's now in Canada, too. He's having a grand time there, taking in the scenery, university life and the vast opportunities Canada has to offer. I'm proud to say that I'm part of the startup he's envisioned.
I've been friends with Matt for four years already. Even if we don't get to talk that much now, I'm thankful that he is always around.

To be continued...

On...Fresh Start/s and New Beginning/s

Starting over...whether by your own or with someone...will always be life-changing.
I used to be bothered by the years creeping up on me while I'm still by myself but not quite anymore. I've become quite comfortable in my own skin and even though the concept of staying single never leaves my mind, I am still happy on my own.
But lately, I've been listening to a troubled heart...
To paint you the picture, a girlfriend of mine and her bf for 8 years are on a semi-apart, semi-together scenario (for lack of better word to define it)...heck! call it a semi-cooling off period. He says he needs space because of work, She just won't take things as they are (hey, she deserves an explanation about his uncalled for behavior!).
Now, He says they're just friends (after 8 years of being sweethearts, he suddenly comes to that realization...hmmmm, tell me about it).
Both are starting over...on very unclear terms. They're left hanging on the premise of being unable to let go, yet being just friends.

PS. Don't even think about telling me to just back off because it's their business. Or that I'm taking sides. I'm just a concerned friend...and I mean no harm.

On...Being Hopeful

I've had my share of misgivings and disheartening situations last year, like: being duped by co-workers and so-called friends, working hard and not being given due salary, missing out on a possible good relationship with someone who just doesn't feel the way i do towards him...but then, Im trying to just go with the ebb and the flow of things in my life right now. Just taking one step at a time and being thankful to be alive right now. I'm just being hopeful...again.

On Being...Still Single

I'm still single and quite satisfied about it.
I've come up with the thought that if "Love hurts, why hurt yourself with loving someone who may not even be worth all the love you can give?".
I have friends who've been part of a great love affair, only to be disillusioned in the end. The giddy feeling of love can only last for a certain period of time. Maybe, forever is just a phrase...afterall.
Nah, I'm not a manhater...it's just that I've got to thinking that I may not be made to be a part of someone else's soul...the concept of soulmates is nice but then...i won't be spending too much time pondering on my soulmate's whereabouts.
Maybe, you can say that I've been saddened by the fact that my parents are living together under one roof on false pretences: alcoholism is a major issue for my dad. My mom silently cries and just takes it all in whenever dad goes into his drinking sessions. They're still together, but the love is gone...
But hey, that's beside the point...altho, partly you can surmise that my family life is one good reason why I'm still single today.
I'm still single...and loving it.

New Year...New Hopes

It's 2006...another brand new year for all of us.
I really want to keep my hopes up and pretend that ALL's ok with my life today.
I'd like to think that most tough decisions in life are brought about my tough-often-unspoken for circumstances.
My friend, Leo has sent me two Christmas messages which made me smile and feel hopeful again.
But then, my life is just like the ocean, always ebbing and flowing...sometimes rough, sometimes calm. Altho it's always the "calm before the storm"...
Inspite of all these, I'm still looking forward to whatever this NEW year holds for me.