Sam's ShortTakes Unlimited: December 2007

Saturday, December 29, 2007

This post could be my last entry for 2007.

I'd like to think that my buzzword for this year is/was: "change". No, make that "all-encompassing change". Always good. Even bad. Great expectations. Could be worse. Welcome disappointment. Crappy moments. Intimacy or lack thereof. 365 days of relentless learning. Fearless fun!

Work was a big stress factor for me. Yikes! I've probably heard all the swear words I can handle for a year! Meanies at the office! An unbelievable deadbeat Christmas bonus! The deadliest project deadlines beating at my door! The upside of work was being given the chance to pursue my other passion: writing for Bicolhomepage (thanks George!). I saw Minnie (our ed-in-chief) and Joseph (her husband and creator of bhp) again after 10 years. Bhp is a great glossy and a creative collaboration of the best Bicolano minds and hearts.

This year, I met some nice guys. They were quite interesting in all aspects. But only "he" really rocked my world! I still don't know if he likes me back or anything. (I hope he does, haha). Just thinking about him makes me smile. His mom likes me a lot though. Somewhere in the span of eight months since we've met, I've realized that liking someone can make a girl do things out of the ordinary. I did a lot of crazy, funny and weird KSP (kulang sa pansin) na pagpapa-cute. Topping that list was my recent 9-hour trip each (to and fro) just to be with him and his mom. All I got was 60 minutes of work-related chitchat (again!) and buko juice! The atm machines at the mall did not have enough cash for those lining up to withdraw so there wasn't really that much to spend. Sana ako na lang ang naglibre sa kanila. If only I wasn't too dyahe to his mom, I should have acted on my impulse to make beso-beso and hug him. They made an effort to meet me alright and I'm grateful for that. It was just like being on a high school date with his mom as our chaperon. How's that for a pre-Christmas treat? It wasn't such a happy vacation. Our schedules didn't jive. We never had the chance to really talk or spend more time together. Hopefully that will change because he told me during lunch today that his gift for me has been ready for some time and that he'll be coming for a visit soon. And when would that be? I dunno. But it's better than having nothing to look forward to.

Healthwise, I never suffered any major setbacks except for migraines and backaches.

My friends, limited for sure, but their presence and communication made up for the lack in numbers. To Ipoi, for being such my A-list wingman, never changing even after all these years, always ready with his advices (nothing can compare to hearing it from a male perspective), unlimited texts, forwarded messages and delightful presence. Thanks Big Angelo! To Faye, my pretty giggly kikay friend for the after-Saturday mass foodtrips and advices too. Thanks Your Honor! For George, a very dear high school amiga who led me to Bicolhomepage and rediscover Arce ice cream flavors. Thanks for the belly laughter and amazing stories we've shared! To ZJ, my all-around globetrotter YM soul sister, thanks for your friendship, advices and heartwarming chitchat from the other side of the planet.

To my family, for always putting up with my shortcomings and being proud of my small victories too. To whoever reads my blog. And to the Great Provider of All Things Wonderful, thank you po! (I'm beginning to look like a thank you speech, haha).

Until next year, peeps! Here's to a very challenging, love-filled, lucrative and happy 2008! Cheers to all of us!

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Saturday, December 08, 2007

Hammering Out A Wicked Comeback

Call me a sucker for everything that's MEAN. Whether it's people, job, workplace, relationships, feelings, weather, attitude, even myself. What's "mean" for me may not be your level of "meanness". Regardless of how we gauge it, it's part of who we are. All that matters is how we react or not react at all.
I'm backtracking to the past two weeks of my very chaotic life. It takes a lot to bring out the worst in me. When I am at my worst, my hands shake with pent-up anger. I could get violent, that's why as much as possible, confrontation is a no-no. BUT, I am learning to stand up for what I believe in. I take pride in doing the best I can every first time. I am not stupid to be told repeatedly of what I should or should not work on. Some real friends even said that they can count on me to "hammer out the kinks" even on a short notice. BUT, I am starting to think that there's a downside to all these. I've been getting a ton of crappiness even when it's not my fault. Others assume that I can solve issues - even a file that is corrupted, cannot be opened or printed? Heck! If there's a title for "Techno Dummy", I'd surely win that one. Also, I am still the one "outside looking in" at work. Can't really have too much female bonding there because I've been on the losing end for some time now. People have been taking advantage, and what's really bad? I've let them. Going out of my way to take on more than I can handle. Eventhough I am able to accomplish my daily tasks satisfactorily, it's still a stupid move to get railroaded.
No sense of claiming self-righteousness here. I am not forcing anyone to like me. Or see things my way. Or work as hard as I do. All I am concerned about is taking responsibility and owning up to personal actions without blatant disregard to authority or anyone. Saying "thank you" isn't a lot to ask, right? Keeping a moderate tone of voice could help, too. And not barking out orders on a whim, just because you're the one who's paying to be served.
In the remaining weeks of 2007, I hope to have a better mindset on matters that I can never change. People may never turn the way you expect them to - there's always a margin of error for human frailty. I need to learn how to say NO to stressful duties. Have more meaningful friendships outside the workplace. Be part of a give-and-take partnership, either romantic or platonic. Sleep earlier (not at 1:30am!). Exercise more. Stay happy, or at least try to stay happy.
Even when everything that's MEAN is just nipping at my toes...ready to pounce on my butt with the least of provocation.
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"Mabalos" to my friend, Faye for this post's title.

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