Lease

As long as I can remember, I often go with my gut feel. That, together with mental ability and legwork. Call it instinct, intuition, hindsight, foresight, impulse. People even say there's nothing wrong if your action is based on mere gut feeling. Others say that impressions don't last. Some might say the gut is just gas inside one's tummy. Whatever your take is, just chalk it up to daily experiences.

Now, here's my story - which took place on a supposedly very uneventful Friday evening, Oct 4, 2008...

Unable to shake off the 2-day tiredness that's been creeping up my bones, having only managed restless sleep, too much work, relentless errands, relationship unpredictability and nightly tutorials, I was looking forward to lazing infront of the TV for another cable marathon. I was pratically asking JM to speed up our tutorials on the premise that I want to go home and catch some sleep. The 4th grader simply flashed me his trademark smile, not even rushing. Ah, little boys!

Then, gunshots echoed through the stillness.

"Are those gunshots?", JM asked me, all the while looking down on his notebook.

"I don't know. An early New Year celebration, maybe?", I answered.

We just shrugged the sounds off. Then, E went inside the study room.

"Hey, authorities are lining up the street outside. I was told to lock the gates but then Sam is still here with you MJ. Will be locking up after your study hour".

After 10 minutes, I started to walk home. Near the corner store, I saw the first wave of onlookers and an ambulance. As I turned on my corner, there were patrol cars, composite forces (special ops and intelligence), men wearing shirts with letters like: NBI, CIDG, PSO, SWAT, high-calibre guns and more onlookers. Even my friend, Public Safety Office (PSO) head L, just gave me a small wave when I called out his name.

I approached an ER guy.

"What happened here, sir?"

"A shootout took place here a while ago caused by a robbery-holdup. Two died in the encounter, one didn't. Those robbers belong to a syndicate."

Picture this, my house is just one house away from the eskinita where the incident occured. I was out for tutorials, Mom was in church for a first Friday Mass, what if those robbers strode in our house to take cover?

Most of all, what if I acted on what my gut's been telling me? To just go home and leave MJ to study on his own? I felt my own fear as my knees shook. I held on to our gate and tried to catch my breath. Had I left earlier, worst case scenario? I could have been caught in the crossfire. (Was informed much later that before the gunshots were fired, the authorities were in an attack-ready-defensive stance just across the street from our house). I uttered a prayer.

The shots were fired past 6pm. The crowd dispered at 9:10 pm. All that was left were dried up blood on the street, the stench of death and a lit candle.

This Sunday's almost over. Much been aired on the radio and said on the news about last Friday's encounter. Fear still clings on the edge of my subconscious. I am trying to channel my nervous energy in a more positive way. I don't feel invincible for being spared from any stray bullet. What I know is; I've been given another great chance to do good things in my so-called life as a 35-something woman. To love unconditionally. To accept people without prejudice. To live life without grand expectations.

To be thankful for the here and now.