Options Of Optimism

Consider this post as another update attempt, no more no less.

Last weekend, I gave in to my wanderlust, packed my overnight bag and rode the Lazyboy to Manila. Had to do personal errands and shop for early simple Christmas treats for people who've made a difference in my life this year. From the swanky malls to shoppers-filled Divisoria, I had my fill of scents, textures, tastes, prices, styles, everything!

 I saw KC Concepcion (I am such a fan of this awesome girl!) during her 'Meet & Greet'. I did not buy her debut cd, instead had fun watching KC with Tina while we had dinner at Shakeys' which was conviently located within the Event Center of SM Marilao. And the food! I had my share of junk food, fast food, home-cooked meals, sweets, pastries, and all that's glorious. I don't mind putting on some pounds, eating is one guilty pleasure that's worth indulging into sometimes. Hehe.

Lots of talk time took place too, over that weekend. With my sis-in-law Puds, niece Joy and nephew Kurt, including the househelp, plus baby time with nephew HP. Had the chance to hangout with Tina, a nice and down-to-earth girl. Tina & I watched "The Women" and it was such a riot! We agreed on: "That's a movie that every girl should watch with her girlfriend/s. It's also a good date movie wherein a guy could (hopefully) learn a thing or two about women & their greatness." Parmesan & garlic popcorn, Cokes, bottled water, great company and funny movie...100% YES! 

Now, it's back to the grinding stone for me. It's been three days of work already. Can you believe that I am actually having lots of laugh time at the office now? Amazingly unbelievable! Well, the workload is still as toxic as polluted fumes, but, the crunch is more bearable. Maybe I'm finally able to adjust my being a round hole to a very square peg. Or the thought that life is too short to be bitter and sad is an effective mantra to beat out stress. Whatever works, bring it on!

And just to balance the seemingly cheery scenario, I'll take a detour to my so-called lovelife. It's not blissful. It's not perfect. It's not just there. And I won't be taken in for another ride to relationship oblivion. The realization that I can love and hate this one guy (in the same breath, with the same intensity) even makes sense. Somehow, I am still buoyed by the thought that I did my best inspite of all his shortcomings and lame excuses. Maybe I've been blindsided - by what I thought I saw in him (that special something in him) - which he even failed to see on his own. 

I tried to reach out to him but to no avail. Bad move. 

As if his silence was not heartless enough, he even had the guts to text me: "Friend na muna kita ha. Tnx. Gudnyt!" (Friend for now. Tnx. Gudnyt!). What gives? Haha. I just had to give him a piece of what I need to say. The text I sent him last night went this way: "DON'T even think that I'm going to chase you around or that I will argue with you. I sent you this text only for my peace of mind. I want to treasure the good moments. At the same time, it hurts like hell not knowing where I stand. You want us to be friends for now. Like how? Friends with benefits, fling or bestfriends? Do you have any valid reason? Why can't you say that in person? I did my best, no regrets. I respected you. Dai ako nagkulang saimo. It seems you are not even ready to have me in your life. Altho it's unfair, I respect your decision." (No reaction from him, as expected).

TODAY...

I saw him. 

I heard his voice. 

I never looked at him.

What for? 

He won't even look at me.

It won't hurt that much...ONE DAY.