Gimme Some Lovin'

Last night in church:

“What does LOVE mean to you? Does it still mean the same way when you were younger? When you were in high school? Or has it changed?” asked the priest.

Then he proceeded to tell the story of how a man, after church, rushed home to his wife and carried her in his arms. The wife was taken aback by her husband’s sudden display of affection. So she asked him “Why are you lovey-dovey today, husbie?” The husband replied, “My wife, in church today, the priest said that love is sacrifice. It should be carried like a cross”. (Priestly humor)

“You see, LOVE is sacrifice. Sacrificial love - it may entail giving up your life for others. Taking the fall so that others may live. Love may take many forms, rational or not. Among new lovers, the guy usually asks a girl if she loves him. When she says yes, he wants her to prove it…”

Spending time in church is always one of my favorite moments. Just an hour or so works wonders for my tired heart and soul. I am lifted up by the truth that there’s much more to this life. Not all good things all the time, yes. But learning experiences, nonetheless.

There’s more to LOVE in my life now.

Last night, I was introduced to “The Zany Escapades of Nate the Great: Gator Bait!” by a talented and sweet short story writer. It was a fun read. A seven-page toss-up between reality and fiction. Each page literally came alive with the author’s play of words. A good start. With potential. I love it!

Last night, I watched The Shawshank Redemption on video. My short story writer told me that it’s one of his favorite movies. I was able to see why. When he went online later, I was supposed to chat him up with the movie’s winning points. But I got sidetracked by his short story and more. He asked me to go on a snake hunt – since his next short story will be about pythons.

What’s not to LOVE about all these?

What Weekend Plans?

During Tita Malou's Saturday pizza treat, she invited us to spend the next day out of town.
Plan 1: To see Tita Malou's farm in Calabanga.
Plan 2: To observe animal life there - chicken, cows, fishes.
Plan 3: To enjoy half-a-day with Mother Nature - water, air, plants, trees, rocks, soil.
Plan 4: To unwind - for a few hours only.
Plan 5: To eat - Siram hayy!!!
(Thanks to Tita Malou & everyone at her farm)



Getting ready for lunch!!!
(Moi - in red, Daisy - in black, Necy - in yellow, Dindin - in white, & me)






I'm holding a native broom "walis"...
(After attempting to clean up dried mud tracks from the farm - can you even tell that I'm still in pain due to laryngitis?)









At the fishpond
(That's Tita Malou in grey & black; mom in pink & me)







That's Andrei - ready to chow down!!!
(On the table - LUNCH!!! chicken, buttered shrimp, fish soup, grilled fish, seafood, pineapple slices)






At Kate's with work mates and a kid named Moi
(Daisy, Dindin, Moi, Andrei, me, Mak)







Aerial view of chicken coop (with a/c - best of German technology)








Inside the chicken coop - see us with those 1 week old cluckers!!!
(My bag's made of canvass - saying NO to plastic!!!)







Still inside the chicken coop
(FYI: Tita Malou said that during the 1st few weeks of chick-life, the a/c inside the building is turned off. Needless to say, it was warm in there - like an incubator)





Live chicken - ready for harvest this week
(One harvest of 35-day old chicken = 20,000 heads!!!)







Spindly brown legs - cows imported from New Zealand

Sometimes a fun weekend need not be planned that much - just go with the flow.
Enjoy!

Buzzin' and Brewin'

“How can you move on when your past is present? Do we need distance to be close?”

That’s a line! Nah, that is a quote which my bestfriend and soul sis Zarah YM'ed me a long time ago. Words that could best describe my state of mind last night. Maybe the state of my heart too, if that would even count.

Science says that the heart has nothing to do with how we feel – whether it’s crazy love, uncontrolled lust or sensual/sexual thoughts, including all the other emotions that could send out some mixed signals. It’s our brain! That grey spongy matter inside our thick skull – the source, maybe the culprit. What stimulates the brain affects all the body parts and nerve endings. Needless to say, the brain causes the heart to react via the bloodstream. Pardon the thought – everything is just blood rushing from the brain to the vena cava and back again.

Try as I could, there’s this place in my heart that has remained unoccupied. For a long time…and counting. Altho my heart is in the right place, it seems that it could stay that way – unoccupied – for more days or months or years to come. Not that I’m complaining. I love my life and the joys of being single. There’s work even when it sucks sometimes. Meaningful friendship. My family. My faith. On weeknights and weekends, there’s the TV, books, computer, internet, VCDs, DVDs, baking, cooking, chores and coffee.

And speaking of coffee.

I don’t know if it was just a sign of desperation on my part. You see, I’ve been having really bad nights and days, cranky moods, tiredness, sleeplessness, back pains, headaches and flu-like symptoms. My youngest sister, she’s a nurse, told me that I have low BP (Oprah and Dr. Oz said that the BP is the most important number to watch out for) and that I should hydrate as often as I can (No worries there, I love drinking loads of cold water).

Like any other internet info junkie, I went online to see if there’s anything in the worldwide web that could explain what I’m experiencing. Haha, maybe not very sensible but I need instant gratification – FAST! There it was a minefield of information - www.webMD.com, yahoo health, and MSN, among others.

Then I searched on coffee. Chanced upon www.coffeeuniverse.com, www.coffeescience.org and www.hopkinsmedicine.org. After sorting all the facts about coffee, a research title caught my eye: CAFFEINE WITHDRAWAL RECOGNIZED AS A DISORDER (from the researchers of John Hopkins Medicine).

After reading, I realized that my usual coffee intake have been virtually limited. To make up for lost coffee buzz, my Thursday nightcap included a 250ml serving of hot coffee, spacing out in front of the TV with the guys of CSI Las Vegas and a feel-good vibe that all will be well in the morning.

Maybe I’m having caffeine withdrawal disorder (the symptoms are present).

Or maybe I’m just in denial again.

Golden Grains

Last night, I was able to catch the second half of a TV docu “Butil ng Buhay” (in English: Grain of Life) on GMA 7’s Reporter’s Notebook. And just like any other documentaries, this one had me thinking about the irony of Filipino life.

The docu zeroed in on the causes of the seemingly unforeseen rice crisis in my country. According to the experts, the Philippines used to be the top rice exporter in Asia. Today, we rank 3^rd among the importers of rice worldwide. To think that the PI is primarily an agricultural country, what happened along the way?

Backtracking to the 70’s when we held the distinction of being a prime source of this life-giving grain, the rice (oryza sativa). It is our main staple, complementing every viand on the table – whether it’s sardines straight from the can or the most delicious ulam. Fast forward to the present, what will happen to the marginalized sector of our society – those who only have rice as their basic source of sustenance each day – if it will be taken away from them due to their inability to cough up the extra pesos needed to buy a kilo?

More expert opinion pointed out the fact that the PI government has forgotten about agriculture. Whatever plans or measures taken never really addressed the needs for better irrigation, sturdier seeds, farm-to-market roads, technology and training. Like everything has fallen off the carabao-driven sled. Those who should have been the focus of this countrywide planning such as farmers, owners and agriculturists were never given that much priority. It’s been said that the government would rather spend a big sum in rice importation than spend more on upgrading agriculture methods. PGMA is quick to claim that there is no rice crisis here. Take another shot at reality: A former farmer has given up on planting rice again. He’s still planting alright, but not rice. He’s planting carabao grass instead. Easier to sell, low maintenance at hindi masyadong lugi (better ROI). Noted too was the truth that the PI doesn’t have a clearly defined land conversion fallback. A lot of farmlands are now converted into subdivisions, golf courses or malls. As one land owner said, the costs override the return. So what’s even the point of trying to hang on to a piece of land when the easiest way out is to sell it to the highest bidder?

A government agency which oversees rice production in the PI is the National Food Authority (NFA). There’s this thing about NFA rice. I’m not saying this to offend anyone. NFA rice is ok when newly-cooked, but when it’s cooled down (or as we say here, bahaw na or kanin-lamig), it’s not too ok anymore. Cooked and cold NFA rice can be tough on the gums. NFA said that there is no rice shortage yet. But this early, they are re-packing rice in 1-kilo bags. To avoid hoarding, countermeasures like: asking for proof of identity (IDs, birth certificate or residence certificate) is required from those who buy NFA rice in bulk. NFA also goes all over the PI to sell rice at Php 18.50 a kilo. Get this: The deficit in rice importation is way over NFA’s budget. Imported rice is about Php 30.00 a kilo minus NFA rice earnings equals to the government paying for the balance. End result: NFA’s almost 48 billion pesos in unpaid dues. What a way to go, taxpayers’ money.

Rice may be common in the PI but a lot of human effort goes to ensure that it maintains its nutritional appeal. It’s an amazing process – from choosing the binhi (seedlings), to planting, harvest, threshing, sun-drying, pa-molino (separating the rice chaffes from the grains), winnowing, cooking and serving. There’s a lot to be grateful for every grain of rice we have. The aroma of kanin na bagong ani (newly-harvested rice) is a gift, whether it’s a cup or half-a-cup.

Or in an empty cup? Hopefully not.

My Babe-ness...Or Not

This post is just another proof that I can NEVER be a summer babe.

What a meltdown!

Our city had another long blackout today, more or less 8 hours. One of our civil engineers said that it's due to TransCo's technical adjustment. Good thing that our office has its own genset. Otherwise, I would have dozed off until the power's back again. For sure, I'll be issued a memo for "sleeping on the job". (Note: I've been working since my last term in college and I haven't been issued any kind of office-related memo. Hey, I'm good at what I do, hehehe).

It's must be the weather!

A lot of people look forward to long, glorious days filled with sunshine. Not me. But, I also like sunny days. As long as I stay indoors with the fan on full swing, that is. Safe from the heat and sunburn. Too much sun gets me down. It starts off with my feet getting cold, followed by headache and other body pains. Then I begin to get dizzy spells and feel really sleepy. Sun-drunk, if there's such a word. The sun and sweat make my nose and face itch. On regular days, I drink a lot of water to stay hydrated. Nowadays, my water intake goal is - drink a glass of water every 30 minutes! You get the picture, hehehe.

If there's any way to avoid the summer heat - please, I'm open to all possibilities!

There's something special about summer though.

It's that time when the day ends and the night begins. That exact moment when you seem to hear the sun touch the mountains. When the clouds get that warm orange color. That brief and unnoticeable moment when the noise stops for a micro-second. When the day's warm air slowly merges into the cool breeze of the evening...leaving a soft trail of comfort against my skin. That's when I begin to feel better.

Alone Time

I often have mixed emotions about weekends.

As much as I look forward to taking a break from everything, there are times when I wish that work days could extend all through the weekends. Simply because, most of my weekends are either spent inside the house, doing chores, some baking, being lazy and a lot of sleeping. Sounds like fun huh? But when I wake up from a lot of sleeping, I get woozy with a heavy dose of weekend headache. Not. fun. at. all.

Later this evening, after the pain was tolerable enough, I went downtown to return some overdue movie rentals. When I turned around the corner of my friend's video shop, I saw my best high school bud with a girl. He was holding her right hand - wow!

I went past him and he was unmindful, but not the girl.

She said, "Hey, your bestfriend just went inside the store."

He turned around and went in as well. (I was busy returning my rentals to notice that the girl was sitting on a stool behind me).

"Hey," I said. "I saw you holding hands with a girl. You thought I didn't see you, but I did." (It's always a blast to kid around with him because he is such a spoilsport).

Soon, most of our friends inside the video shop were teasing him. We can be mean sometimes, no pun intended. The girl called him a "heartthrob". I tried not to roll my eyes when she said that! (I can't believe she just said that. Haha.)

After my business at the video shop, I waved goodbye to everyone. I tapped on the counter and said, "Gotta go, guys."

My best high school bud asked, "Where are you going? You have a date?"

I shrugged, "I don't have a date. I'm going to take a walk."

Later, after church. I walked to the grocery store to buy some junk food. I just love walking. A simple pleasure that keeps me on my feet (literally!), a good exercise and a covert way to observe people. There are couples holding hands, kids walking with either mom or dad, friends laughing, others are walking fast or slow, while there are those who choose to walk alone. A certain sense of calm comes over me. Somehow my head clears up eventhough the pain lingers. I feel the tension leaving my tired body. The bounce in my steps translates into a definite sense of purpose.

At least, I try not to drift too far...I'm not being aimless anymore.

Torn. Burn. Alive.

waiting...and still facing a blank wall.

it was such a bad untimely move from me...but then, if this is how it should be.

maybe you're just taking your time or something...or maybe you're just not that into me at all.

in a weird way, i'm trying to be happy...altho it turned into a triple whammy - a letdown, a rejection and a brushoff.

sometimes, telling things as they are could backfire...it hurts, and the silence makes me sad.

somehow, it's better this way...no expectations, fewer disappointment.

owning up to what's been said or what's left unspoken...but how do i deal?

if moving on means leaving a special part of me behind...so be it.

Caramoan!!!

long coastline













horizon










limestone on the beach










us girls













rocks on the water










gota beach










bichara island










blue starfish














rock face

The 'Do

I've got a new hairstyle and I just love it!

Even if it took about two sessions (after work) with the hairstylist, I'm quiet happy how it turned out. I've read in one of the online beauty magazines that a girl should at least change her hairstyle every two years. A new hair color, a new style, a new cut, highlights - anything to liven up her looks. It's been said that "looking good means feeling good". Sure, inner beauty counts a lot but there's no harm with a little makeover. Nothing too drastic to start with, just a few tweaks - after hairstyles, next on the list could be touches of new blush, bronzer, lipstick, you know...girlie stuff. Haha, it's fun being a girl!

After having my long hair tied up all the time, its now only shoulder length. I look like a high school girl with better looking bangs. Definitely an improvement. It's still wash and wear. Shampoo, conditioner, towel dry, a bit of hair poduct to tame any frizz, comb, air dry - really low maintenance.

Nice. Maybe I'll have less bad hair days from now on.